Critiqued Grasshopper Poem

Grasshopper Theme-Story Poem

Grasshopper Poem & Critique

Theme-Story 1 Poem and Analysis (Lesson 2)
This poetry critique goes with Theme-Story 1 "Grasshopper".
If you have not read Grasshopper, you can find it here.

Grasshopper Analysis & Critique Rhyming Tips
Below is the author's Grasshopper Poem.
The numbers in parenthesis show how many syllables are in each line.

Verse 1
A grasshopper landed on the sidewalk {9}
While Jenny was skipping her rope {8}
She kneeled to examine its thin wings {9}
And then she decided to grope {8}

Verse 2
But when Jenny picked up the insect {9}
It driveled brown tobacco juice {8}
She didn’t want bug juice on her hand {9}
So she let the grasshopper loose {8}

Verse 3
Grasshopper’s long body {6}
Antennae and eyes {5}
Fascinated Jenny {6}
Though she’d put it down {5}
She cared ‘bout its safety {6}
And where it was at {5}
It looked like a snack for {6}
A dog or a cat {5}

Verse 4
Jenny pulled a twig from {6}
The branch of a tree {5}
Let insect climb on while {6}
She cropped on a knee {5}
Then rushed to the backyard {6}
Where grass was quite long {5}
Held twig to the ground so {6}
Bug friend could climb on {5}
To a tall {3}}
Blade of grass {3}
Shiny light green {4}
Hopeful grass {3}
Would make bug {3}
Harder to see {4}

Verse 5
Into the high grass {5}
Bug-bug crawled from the stick {6}
Hiding and eating {5}
Damp blades lush and thick {5}

By R. Renée Bembry
© 9/30/06
The info in red boxes critique the poem and explain how it was put together.

Notice the 9, 8, 9, 8
pattern in the first two
verses. This pattern
becomes the rhythm,
or beat, you hear when
you read the lines.

In verse 3 the pattern
has been changed to
add a different
rhythm. More than one rhythm in a poem, makes the poem more interesting to read— especially out loud! Try it.

Also, notice this verse is eight lines compared to four lines in the first two verses. In this case, making the verse longer makes up for shortening the lines.

Notice verse 4 is fourteen lines compared to eight lines in the first long verse. Some lines are only three syllables long. This makes it easier to emphasize the words Blade, Shiny, Hopeful, and Harder. That means these words are made to sound more important than they would sound in a longer line.

Verse 5, the shortest verse, brings the poem to a smooth ending.

See how the pattern changes when the ninth line in the fourteen line verse drops to three syllables. This change prepares the reader for the shortest verse - which is verse 5.

Here, I will talk about rhyming.

I personally like rhyming poems because I think they are more fun than free verse (poems that don’t have to rhyme). I like the challenge of finding the right words to make a poem rhyme and the word tricks you can play in the process.

The thing about rhymes is there are so many kinds of them. Take a look at the second verse of my Grasshopper poem. The words juice and loose have the same ending sound. The same is true for the words tree and knee in the fourth verse. These words are Perfect Rhymes. That means they have exactly the same ending sound. Try to find other perfect rhymes in the poem.

Now I will talk a little about Imperfect Rhymes. There are many kinds of imperfect rhymes. For this reason, I will only talk about the imperfect rhymes that appear in this poem. Later, I will discuss others.

Imperfect Rhymes are rhymes that do not sound exactly the same at the ends. Look at verse three. The words body, Jenny, and safety sound almost the same at the ends only because they all end with the vowel sound of the letter "Y". However, the consonants that come before the letter Y in each word is different. This kind of imperfect rhyme is called a Slant Rhyme.

The words rope and grope are known as Mirror Rhymes because the word rope is found after the letter "G" in grope. Can you find another mirror rhyme in the poem?

The word grass and grass show an example of an Identical Rhyme. Since the words are the same and they mean the same thing, this kind of rhyme is sometimes called Cheating.

Try to use some of these different kinds of rhymes when you write your poem for Lesson 3.

Use the information in the red boxes that talk about patterns and rhythm as well.

Young Poets,

For those who have written Grasshopper poems... examine my poem and use information you learn to re-examine your poems.

If you sent your poem in for a critique, look over the suggestions I gave you. Rewrite your poem again with your improved poetry-writing understanding.

As you read my poem you will see that I used the theme {Jenny’s fascination with a grasshopper} to let Jenny save the bug. I did this because I like grasshoppers. (:

The information in red boxes explain basics of pattern and rhythm. Studying this info will help you understand why I wrote the lines the way I did.
Remember... After you compare your Grasshopper Poem with mine, you should rewrite your poem. If you haven't written a Grasshopper poem, write one now. If you would like help on the best way to improve your poem, and you have already gotten a free Grasshopper poem critique, you may request another critique by following the instructions on the Critiques Page. Also remember... MyStoriesAndPoems gives free critiques to Members who write and submit poems about some Theme-Stories. Critiques for Grasshopper Theme-Story Poems will still receive free critiques even though the Grasshopper Analysis has been posted. Therefore, it's not too late to get a critique for your Grasshopper Theme-Story-Poem. Simply follow the directions on the Critiques Page and send your poem to to get your free critique.
On the left is R. Renée Bembry's "Grasshopper" Poem in a Partial Designer Poetry Page. Designer Poetry Pages are only partial until you order them. Then, you get the complete poem set in its Complete Designer Poetry Page or Pages.

Enter here to order this 1-Page Designer Poem.

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Begin poetry writing workshop with Theme Story 1 - Grasshopper.

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